Sister to Sister Service: The Sister That Got Away

This year, the Women's Ministry of the Greater Allen Cathedral celebrated our annual Sister to Sister service with the preaching and teaching of the Rev. Dr. Renita Jean Weems. Rev. Weems is one of my favorite preachers because she is an intellectual who has the unique ability to pontificate upon the unspoken areas of the Word.

The service opened with Rev. Elaine sharing with the congregation, a gift that she had received at the end of last year's Women's Season. The gift was a beautiful oil painting of her "good friends" whom we have all grown to love over the years. The oil painting included Rev. Weems, Rev. Dr. Claudette Copland, Rev. and Episcopal supervisor Jessica Ingram, Rev. Dr. Cynthia Hale and of course our very own, Rev. Dr Elaine. Rev. Elaine descried each of her "girlfriends" and the unique character and quality that each woman brings to the sisterhood.

The title of Rev. Weems' sermon was called "The Sister that Got Away." She referenced many scriptures throughout the sermon but her main text came from Ruth 1:8-14. In this text, the husbands of Ruth and Orpha have died. Naomi encourages Ruth and Orpha, her daughter-in laws, to go on with their lives because she did not have any other sons for Ruth and Orpha to marry. Subsequent to Naomi's encouragement, Ruth decided to stay with Naomi but Orpha wished them well and decided to go her own way.

Rev. Renita's teaching touched upon many points but her sermon mainly explored and questioned what was going on in the friendship between Ruth, Naomi and Orphan that led Ruth to stay with Naomi and Orpha to go her own way. Rev Renita explored the complexities of relationships between women--the misunderstanding, the jealousy and the competition that often occurs but is rarely addressed. Below are some points that stood out:

1. Society Does not Respect Relationships Among Women. We live in a society that does not have a place for female relationship. There are few places that honor our relationships. When friendships among women are given attention by the media, the friendship is often made fun of, poked at or reduced to a superficial relationship.

2. Friendships among women fulfill our emotional need. As women, we are complex beings and we need different types of friends for the different sides of who we are. Relationships among women are the only relationships that are not driven by our biological need rather these relationships are voluntary. Our body does not need girlfriends but our soul needs them. Only a "girlfriend" allows you to tell the same story over and over and over again. Our friends may not want to hear the story so many times but they will allow you to tell the story again and again as you work out how you are feeling in your mind.

3. Fight for your sister. As women, we have to fight to maintain relationships with our girlfriends. Often times we will fight for a man who has lied to us or simply does not want to be with us. Yet, we will beg and plead with him to stay. When our girlfriends are tired of us or need some space, we simply allow them to walk out of our lives without a fight. We should not allow our girlfriends to walk out of our life. We have to make a commitment to work at our friendships and maintain relationships even when it becomes difficult.

4. You reap what you sow. As women, we have to learn to respect the "office" that has been given to another women. We may not like a particular woman but we do not have to like her in order to respect that woman's office. She shared the challenging relationship that she has with her mother-in-law. Recently the Holy Spirit revealed to Rev. Weems that she has to respect her mother-in-law if she expects her students at Spelman or other woman to respect her. What you sow in one area of your life is what you reap in another area of your life. You cannot disrespect women who have been given a particular "office" yet expect to be respected on your job, in your home or in your ministry. She reminded us that we "have got to mind how we treat people."

At the conclusion of the service, Rev. Weems asked every woman to apologize to the woman that she attended the service with for something specific (i.e. betraying your friend's confidence, gossiping about her or simply ignoring your friend's phone calls when you saw her number appear on the caller id box). She also asked each woman to make a specific promise to her friend. Rev. Weems promised Rev. Elaine that when they get old they "are going to ride [yes, she said ride] their wheelchair's to Jamaica and look at all the fine men." She also promised Rev. Elaine that they "would sit on the porch and talk about all of their ex-boyfriends."

This article only touches upon some of the many revelations that Rev. Weems shared with us about the importance of sisterhood and friendship among women. This piece cannot do justice to the service and the healing that took place in the midst of the service. I strongly encourage you to buy the CD, DVD or tape for yourself and for all the sisters in your circle. It will make you laugh and it will make you cry, but even more importantly it will make you reclaim "the sisters that got away."

This sermon can be purchased at http://www.allencathedral.org/. More information on Rev. Renita Weems can be found on www.somethingwithin.com.